My first memory is of cold, of flexing my hands slowly for no other reason than because I still could. I didn't try to get up and run, I just sat there in the cold, back to a wall. Something wet ran down my pants; I didn't have to check to know that it was red.
There was no surge of panic like I would have expected, no fear or anger. Emotion drained out of me with my blood. Death's seductive chill loosened the knot in my throat and urged me to just...lean back and sleep, to let the cold take me and extinguish the fire licking my injuries.
And then, strength. Rage. The sudden urge to get up and fight, to do something. The incomprehensible urge that made me push myself upright with my rifle, balancing myself on my good leg.
Even still, I didn't have the fortitude to look down and investigate why my socks were soaked and why a squish was heard off when I leaned over.
Then, nothing. The playback ended and I woke up in a bed with too many blankets. I changed my bandages, made peace with the hunger that turned stomach once more and went back into the world.
There was no surge of panic like I would have expected, no fear or anger. Emotion drained out of me with my blood. Death's seductive chill loosened the knot in my throat and urged me to just...lean back and sleep, to let the cold take me and extinguish the fire licking my injuries.
And then, strength. Rage. The sudden urge to get up and fight, to do something. The incomprehensible urge that made me push myself upright with my rifle, balancing myself on my good leg.
Even still, I didn't have the fortitude to look down and investigate why my socks were soaked and why a squish was heard off when I leaned over.
Then, nothing. The playback ended and I woke up in a bed with too many blankets. I changed my bandages, made peace with the hunger that turned stomach once more and went back into the world.
<22:56:21> "Deputy Lahey": THANKS for the bear trap
<22:59:48> "Deputy Lahey": I FUCKING BROKE MY LEG!
<22:59:48> "Deputy Lahey": I FUCKING BROKE MY LEG!