Advanced Role-Play Systems 

  • Care will kill a cat (Llenne's journals)

  • Tell your day-to-day stories here
Tell your day-to-day stories here
 #6000  by Llenne
 
We pressed forward in spite of our three men down. Foog was on over-watch and Kix and I acted as the forward assault team.

It's hard to say exactly how many of them we killed and injured but we avenged our friends at least twice over - perhaps even three or four times over. We saw to that to a nicety.

The battle felt like it lasted for hours. Jeers were yelled as Kix and I pressed forward into the building. They didn't seem to believe that we were the Marshall Service, for whatever reason.

We managed to extract our injured and started to make our way out. As ever, the devil on my shoulder insisted that more blood should be shed, that we wouldn't have won until they were all laying in pools of their own blood. And what would the point have been if we retreated, tail between our legs in the face of the wolf?

We stayed, of course. We followed that sweet siren song until we saw the whole ordeal through until the wolf howled no more and the only cry that filled the air was the song we knew so well.
 #6450  by Llenne
 
...I am seething within and cannot relax; Days of affliction confront me...

The nightmare has sharpened. The Mother That Does Not Nourish, the house in the woods walking upon the legs of a chicken, the bone-wrought fence...

She whispers of power to my heart of hearts. She whispers of an endless service, unaffected by death -- the transport of my soul to new vessels. Her words are venom, her voice, sickly sweet.

I know all of this to be wrong. Those terrible, blind and all-seeing eyes.

God, are you listening?

I am driven to my knees and know all of these things to be true. The weight on my chest banishes the air from my lungs and fills my mind with fear and dread.

Please, Answer.
 #6451  by Llenne
 
The transition is incomplete. My mind is yet my own. Her control has its limits. Perhaps, if I can end if before I am wholly Hers, I can escape.

...I go about mourning without comfort; I stand up in the assembly and cry out for help...

Image

God's Answer to my plight is a strange weight in my limbs, forcing the gun away from my head at the last moment.

In a thunderclap voice worthy of the Lord, he bids me to LIVE.

He pits against Hers and, for now, I am my own person. He has given me the blessing and curse of choice. I am still safe, but I can feel Her pull when I am with my brothers. She tells me that they perform Her will too and if I am to be truly a member of the pack, that I must surrender to death and be reborn into a stronger vessel.

I will be Hers if I die, but what am I without my brothers?

Please, God, give me the strength required to be worthy of them without being reborn. I must do this on my own terms, with the unconditional love of God driving me forward.

May I be given time before our next altercation with the Marshals, that I can enjoy my time with my brothers properly but even so...

I thought that I was hard but I didn't even know what hard looked like. Please, God, I don't want to die...
Last edited by Llenne on Sat Jan 14, 2017 4:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
 #6452  by Llenne
 
*Written in a shaky hand is the following and final passage;*

I have become a brother of jackals, a companion of owls.